It's official..........

Ella is officially a toddler, and I am officially one of THOSE mothers. You know the moms I'm talking about.... The moms you used to stare at while her child was kicking and screaming in the middle of a busy store. And you think...."Man, why doesn't she get control!" or "Shut that kid up!" (Common, you know you have thought it!) Yeah. I want to apologize to all those moms that I stared at and had that same thought. I was completely ignorant as to what it's like to be the parent of a strong willed toddler. Don't let this cute picture below this post fool you, cause just an hour earlier Ella was in full force in the middle of the JC Penny shoe dept. Let me set the scene for you.

My friend Maggie and I were shopping for shoes for the Coast Guard Ball. Ella had already been in the stroller for over an hour so I decided to let her out and walk a bit. (BIG MISTAKE) I should have not let the mother guilt get to me because the series of events that happened next made me look even worse. So Ella and I are walking together, and I'm holding her hand. We get to the shoe department and she decides she is independent enough to push my hand away and run to the nearest display to grab all the shoes . I precede to give a big sigh and scold her, and give her a warning to hold my hand and stay by my side. She drops my hand again, and then does a victory dance as to which she loses her balance and hits her head on one of the glass shelves.

It was the hit heard across the world and all the women turned and looked at me, as if to say, "Why are you letting your baby play around glass shelves?!?!?!" Mommy guilt kicked in again, even though I knew she wasn't hurt. ( I always wait a few seconds. If Ella isn't crying immediately she's not hurt badly) I picked her up and hugged her, which she did not care for at all. In her mind she thought.." This woman is trying to hold me down, when all I want to do is play with shoes!" And I was thinking" All these women are starring at me thinking I'm a horrible mother so I have to hold Ella and convince them that I'm not reckless!" Ella turned bright red, huge tears running down her face, and with all the air in her lungs, let loose the loudest , scouring, ear bleeding scream that I have ever heard! In that instant I thought., "This could not be Ella? My daughter whines but she has never screamed like this! "
In that moment I realized that, my worst fear came true. Ella is no longer a baby. She is finding her independence and everyone is going to know about.
So needless to say, Ella was fine. I put her in her stroller and walked away from the shoe dept in shame, and embarrassment. We went to the bathroom and I changed her diaper while she was laughing and playing with her toes, and her face was still beet red from her fit. I wish all those women would have seen her at that moment!
Shopping trip.... OVER. No shoes purchased, but lesson learned.

It really started 2 weeks ago when she flat out refused to eat her dinner even though it was her favorite meal. I thought maybe she was just teething, or acting out from not having Ben around but I was wrong. She is defiant, and exploring her independence. Parts of it are exciting and fun, like when I can wash dishes and watch Ella play by herself without crying for me to join her on the floor. Or when we go to the playground and she explores the ins and outs of the play structure with her friends. The best part of her independence though, is when she actively seeks hugs and kisses from me and Ben. I will go through a thousand tantrums for just one hug and kiss from her. I just hope those tantrums never take place at the mall again. ;-)